Apropos of Nothing...

Sometimes you just have to throw some stuff out there...

• There is a church I drive by every day on the way to work and they always have sayings on their readerboard I usually have some kind of issue with (hey, give me a break - it's where I always have to sit at a light). The most recent one said something similar to "Where death takes you eternity will keep you."
  
  Um, what does that mean? Is it saying wherever I die I will always be? Does this religion believe in the paranormal? If I keeled over in a 7-11, would I haunt that 7-11 forever? Is that why people feel they see ghosts?
  
  Or is it implying the act of death will actually take me somewhere, physically, mentally, or metaphysically? And whenever I get wherever that is, I'm stuck there? Or is it saying that I will want to be there? Is it heaven?
  
  Probably it is, but it's a little vague and leaves way too much open to interpretation to people like me who like to make fun of things. Of course, that's part of the fun. Need more info.
  
• I was doing some research online last night for the other job and - you know how the internet can be with all the crazy links going everywhere - I got distracted. Eventually I got to tattoos and found some meaning of tattoos and a bunch of pictures of tattoos and finally to some pictures of tattoos that indicate gang affiliations.
  
  Yeah, it was about at this point I wondered to myself, "How the hell did I get here?!"
  
  But anyway, it was actually intriguing. Did you know many street gangs in the U.S. have actually formed alliances across cities and races? I had no idea they were organized enough to put together the street gang equivalent of NATO. Of course, it makes sense - any organization will want to strengthen itself for defense purposes against the possibility of outsiders.
  
  Still, it made me wonder - how exactly does that happen? I mean, when I think of an alliance I think of heads of states in a nice room overlooking a garden with plenty of media for a photo op. I kind of think it's not like that.
  
  But is it like what we see in Mafia movies, the romanticized version where the heads of the major NYC crime families meet in a secluded house with all their soldiers and guns protecting each one, the tension thicker than wool with fingers on triggers because you never know when someone has a different plan? Inside this house the Dons sit at long wooden tables with their capos behind them, the air thick with cigar smoke while everyone says the right thing and thinks something else, drawn together by common interests other than friendship.
  
  Just one of those things...seriously, how does that go down?
  
• Did you see the story about the USC running back? Stafon Johnson was bench pressing and his hand slipped near the end of his set. The bar landed square on his throat, crushing it and his larynx. He had to go into emergency surgery - which lasted over seven hours - and should make a full recovery (but yes, done for the season).
  
  Can you even imagine?! I wonder how much weight was on that bar. I mean, when I do reps on the bench it's at about 160 or so...and I don't look nearly as good with my shirt off as a running back at a premiere university. Okay, it's not even close. If I had to guess, I'd definitely say he was doing over 200.
  
  Can you imagine dropping 200 pounds on your throat? Can you imagine the fleeting moment of terror as you realize your hand slipped, that bar is falling, and there is not enough time for you to make any movement to stop it? The mind can work that fast, but the hands cannot respond fast enough to do anything about it.
  
  Doctors said if Johnson hadn't been an extremely well muscled and fit athlete, he'd probably be dead.
  
  Let that be a lesson to you kids - always use a spotter. And spotters - PAY ATTENTION! Johnson had a spotter, but he wasn't in position to react fast enough to at least push the bar to Johnson's chest. I imagine he feels bad about it.
  
  Still, the good news is Johnson will be okay - he was even able to communicate a bit yesterday, which is good news.
  
• I will say, I don't get riled up by celebrity news too often, since most of it to me is hearing about something crazy a crackhead did. Shocking? Sure. Surprising? Not really.
  
  However, when it comes to Hollywood's response to the arrest of fugitive filmmaker Roman Polanski in Switzerland, I'm a tad shocked. All these Hollywood peeps are angry the Swiss police chose to arrest Polanski at a film festival where he was to get a lifetime achievement award, saying it wasn't the time and place.
  
  As a reminder, Polanski was arrested in the U.S. in 1977 and charged with the drugging and raping of a 13-year-old girl. He pleaded guilty to the charges, then skipped out of the country before he could be sentenced.
  
  So, to be clear, Polanski PLEADED GUILTY TO RAPE. He has been a fugitive for 22 years. And people are angry he got arrested? Are you seriously kidding me? And they think they can justify him not being arrested? Hell, my only question is what the hell took so long? Maybe Polanski has been careful and not stepped foot in a nation with an extradition treaty to the U.S. in 22 years (he's been living in France), but whatever. He still pleaded guilty. He's an admitted rapist.
  
  Tell me again why it matters how and when he was arrested? Hollywood, shut your mouths now - I didn't think it was possible to actually think less of a group, but I'm there now.
  
• What would you think if you were driving home from work and saw a Toyota pick-up with a giant grenade in the back of it? A little odd, yes?
  
  Well, that's what I saw Monday on the drive home. There was a truck with something that looked exactly like a grenade filling the entire bed of the truck, and sitting higher than the truck's cab. I doubt it was actually a grenade - that would be a Weapon of Mass Destruction one would think - but why would anyone do that? What was it really?
  
  Or was it really a giant grenade, and where better to hide something than in plain sight?
  
  Seems like there is a story here that needs to be told. I should have taken a picture, but I didn't have the camera on me and the one on my cell phone blows. I need to be better prepared.
  
• Speaking of being better prepared, there is a home in North Portland with an interesting piece of "art" out front. (And again, me with no camera in the car so I'll probably not do it justice.)
  
  If you are familiar with Spider Man I would describe it as similar to his nemesis, the Green Goblin. It's an alien-looking creature, greenish, seated/standing (not sure) on something that looks like a skateboard or jet ski with a Gatling gun mounted on it. The gun is not real, rather pieced together with PVC it looks like, but still, it's a shocking sight.
  
  Something you don't expect, that's for sure. There has to be a story here too.
  
• And just because I'm listing out some crazy stuff, have you ever heard of the Fremont Troll in Seattle? I hadn't. Wifey and I were driving around the Fremont area trying to find Theo's Chocolates and we turned on this road that ran underneath a bridge that crossed some water back towards downtown Seattle.
  
  As I'm driving up the hill, towards where the bridge meets the ground, check out the sight I saw.
  
  Apparently I was on Troll Ave N. I was speechless with wonder. And then we were both talking at once, wondering what the hell it was. Then I was pretty sure it was the freakin' coolest thing I've ever seen under a bridge (not that there was a lot of competition).
  
  We didn't take pictures...we should have. I regret that now. But since we'll probably head back to Theo's at some point to try the ice cream (that you can only buy in half pints at their factory store), I'm making plans now to park under this bridge and take some pictures.
  
  An honest to goodness troll under a bridge? How cool is that?!

You may now return to your normal internet surfings...