For me as a writer my number one guideline is believability. I, as the writer, have to make you, as the reader, believe in the reality I am creating. If for some reason I fail to do that the reader will take notice - perhaps only subconciously - and they won't have as enjoyable a reading experience.
That doesn't mean stories have to be feasible to everyday reality - hardly. In fact, most stories are completely otherwise.
The reason a book that does so well with a cast of vampires isn't because vampires themselves are necessarily believable, but that the author has created a reality where they are. That's a foundation of the story.
To be a successful writer of fiction you have to set the stage for certain points that are reality in the story. You create the setting for these truths, you introduce the truths, and you must absolutely stay true to those foundations throughout the entire story. If at any point you step outside of those parameters, it's a failure.
Why am I bringing this up? I'm a voracious reader. I usually read a book every week to ten days, and I generally read fiction - for the most part popular fiction. Books that have been published in this arena have normally been very well edited and checked for these kinds of things, but just recently I've finished two novels where, to me, there were failures.
I won't name the authors or the titles because that's not important. Both books were enjoyable and for all other intents and purposes well written. But here's what bugged me:
1 - In one novel the reader is presented with one main character following another to a specific destination for a certain length of time. This is followed immediately afterwards by a scene where one of those characters is doing something completely different before arriving at the same final destination. After reading it twice I'm convinced these two scenes were meant for the same section of time in the book, almost as if one should have been cut; or it should have been re-worked to be better integrated with the timeline or along a different timeline.
To me this is a failure of editing. As someone who writes I can see missing this, though I would hope I would catch it myself. Then, it should have been flagged in the process before publishing. The end result is the reader is left confused - no longer am I enjoying the story but I'm asking myself what the hell just happened?
If I ever get published and something like that happened to me, I'd be thoroughly mortified.
2 - In another novel the reader is given a reality where much of the story happens in flashbacks. The father is telling the daughter a long forgotten tale involving the disappearance of her mother. At first the flashbacks are presented in short, one-on-one conversations, but later when the father inexplicably disappears the rest of the flashback is presented as a letter written to the daughter.
The problem for me here was the letter was over 300 pages long and was presented as something written in a fairly short time, a time meant to roughly coincide with the father's planned disappearance. The "letter" was also extremely detailed, recalling conversations and minute details from 20 years previous, which also entailed scenes where scenes from 20-30 years earlier were recalled with the same detail.
Sorry, I just can't buy it. The facts were good, the story was good, the characters were good - but I couldn't buy into the concept of 50-year-old conversations being recalled clearly to the tiniest detail sans notes or anything else.
Great story, but it lost me by asking me to buy into a reality I just couldn't.
It's true my experience with this two particular novels may not be the same as someone else's. But, as a writer, I have to strive to create a reality where everything I present and everything my characters do is true to that reality and the parameters I set, be it time, place, technology, character traits, or anything else.
Last thing I want to do is end up an example in someone's blog talking about something that didn't work for them.
Characters have to follow the same rules. When a writer presents a character to the reader s/he is given certain characterstics, certain truths - if the character then does something much later in the book that seem incongruent with how a character was presented, it's going to catch a reader's attention and detract from the enjoyment of the story.
I've also found myself more and more looking at these types of things critically as I read. Part of me is learning how to be better at the craft of writing, while part of me is also looking for things I perceive as failures in order to not make the same mistakes.
Before it was just reading for enjoyment; now it's just as much research - but in a good way.
This are the things that keep me awake at night - or might anyway, if I got more than five hours of sleep.
Any other writers out there read like this? Or have any other examples of something in a book that really lost you as a reader?
10/14/2010
10/13/2010
Is There Value in Online Writing Classes?
I don't know the answer to this, so I figured I'd ask, well, the world.
I like to consider myself a writer but have had very little actual training. At the same time I'm in the group who doesn't believe training is a necessity to being a good writer. Grammar and structure, sure, but I have a strong belief some people just are better at it than others and innately grasp the concepts quicker. I also think good writers can be developed - I've seen it happen.
Writing has always been something I've just done. Other than English assigments I didn't do much of it all until my senior English class when we were given the opportunity to write whatever we wanted. I liked it and was given positive feedback that I should do it more. When I was in college I kept a journal during my summer in Italy, the only time I've ever done that (well, until this blog). When I got back to the University of Oregon I signed up for a Creative Writing class and had a blast - probably the most fun I had in a class in college.
Of course, it was fall term of my senior year, so it was a little late to really change my focus without spending much longer (and much more money) in college, and I was ready to be done. I received positive feedback from peers and the teacher there as well. Keep writing, I was encouraged.
Since then I have done that, but it's been mostly sportswriting - again, until this blog. I haven't really done much at all in the fiction space, which is where I'd like to move into.
The local community college offers online writing workshops. A little lost with exactly where to begin this fictioin odyssey, I'm thinking it might be interesting and helpful. Perhaps I'll get a better feel of where to begin, which seems to be my problem. It might also force me to plan things better, to set myself up with a schedule.
I know some other writers have taken community college workshops and found benefit. Is it worth it? What about the online aspect - is that something I should try to avoid? What kind of time commitment did it demand?
Or is this notion of something like this a little unnecessary? I guess perhaps I'm just worried it will be too much or too little.
I think the part I'm least sure about is the online part. I've taken classes online through the day job and found them less than worthless. Conversely Wifey is taking a course right now that she is enjoying. Subject matter is going to play an important part of that, but to me I would think person to person contact would be a helpful thing. Can this be replicated online? For the price maybe it's worth it just to see how it goes.
Maybe I'm just whining - sign up already, right? I think I probably will, Wifey thinks I should - I'm just unsure as to what to really expect.
I would love to hear anyone's ideas or experiences with online (or offline) writing classes, so please, leave a comment!
I like to consider myself a writer but have had very little actual training. At the same time I'm in the group who doesn't believe training is a necessity to being a good writer. Grammar and structure, sure, but I have a strong belief some people just are better at it than others and innately grasp the concepts quicker. I also think good writers can be developed - I've seen it happen.
Writing has always been something I've just done. Other than English assigments I didn't do much of it all until my senior English class when we were given the opportunity to write whatever we wanted. I liked it and was given positive feedback that I should do it more. When I was in college I kept a journal during my summer in Italy, the only time I've ever done that (well, until this blog). When I got back to the University of Oregon I signed up for a Creative Writing class and had a blast - probably the most fun I had in a class in college.
Of course, it was fall term of my senior year, so it was a little late to really change my focus without spending much longer (and much more money) in college, and I was ready to be done. I received positive feedback from peers and the teacher there as well. Keep writing, I was encouraged.
Since then I have done that, but it's been mostly sportswriting - again, until this blog. I haven't really done much at all in the fiction space, which is where I'd like to move into.
The local community college offers online writing workshops. A little lost with exactly where to begin this fictioin odyssey, I'm thinking it might be interesting and helpful. Perhaps I'll get a better feel of where to begin, which seems to be my problem. It might also force me to plan things better, to set myself up with a schedule.
I know some other writers have taken community college workshops and found benefit. Is it worth it? What about the online aspect - is that something I should try to avoid? What kind of time commitment did it demand?
Or is this notion of something like this a little unnecessary? I guess perhaps I'm just worried it will be too much or too little.
I think the part I'm least sure about is the online part. I've taken classes online through the day job and found them less than worthless. Conversely Wifey is taking a course right now that she is enjoying. Subject matter is going to play an important part of that, but to me I would think person to person contact would be a helpful thing. Can this be replicated online? For the price maybe it's worth it just to see how it goes.
Maybe I'm just whining - sign up already, right? I think I probably will, Wifey thinks I should - I'm just unsure as to what to really expect.
I would love to hear anyone's ideas or experiences with online (or offline) writing classes, so please, leave a comment!
10/12/2010
Done With Cheering the Road Team
Have you ever gone to a sporting event and cheered for the road team? Did you have a good experience or not?
For me it's been a mixed bag. I've been the road fan a few places since I got out of college, and at this point in my life I think I'm just about done with it.
Think about it. When you step into a stadium 99% of the people there are rooting for the home team and wearing that team's colors. If you are wearing the colors of the other team you stick out like a sore thumb. The home fans automatically tab you as different, as an outsider, and as people are wont to do they act accordingly - and it can be very, very unpretty.
That's not an indictment of sports fans in general - most of them are very nice and understanding that the team one cheers for is a personal choice that should be properly respected, but as with all things it only takes a few jackasses to ruin the whole thing.
I remember back when I was a student at the University of Oregon I went to a game at Autzen Stadium against Washington State. As a student I was in the student section, but inexplicably a couple Washington State fans were a couple rows behind my friends and I. I personally don't think Autzen is overly hospitable to visiting fans anyway, but to come sit in the student section? Predictably they had to deal with a bunch of crap from drunken students and by halftime they had left, perhaps to find a place to sit that wasn't as unwelcoming.
That has been something that has always made an impression on me for some reason. For one, why would you put yourself in that position? Sure, you want to cheer your team, but at the same time - in my mind - you can't complain when you know what you are walking into. Again, that's not condoning the behavior - it's instead an understanding of the setting and knowing a positive outcome is less than likely.
I've put myself in that same position in four different venues in the past ten years.
Cheering Oregon State at Husky Stadium
Back in 2000 Wifey bought us season tickets for the first time to Oregon State football. For my birthday she took me up to Seattle for the weekend and we went to the Beavers-Huskies game, sitting with her uncle who is a Husky himself and a season ticket holder. She also bought me a Beaver shirt to wear for the occasion.
We got there early and walked around the stadium a bit, checking out the scene. People were nice to us, perhaps because they didn't at that point feel the Beavers were a threat, and we even got to pet the official Washington Husky (which, I should point out, is actually a Malmute). There were no catcalls or rudeness, but then again the student section was on the opposite side of the field and we were with Huskies, which I have since learned is usually helpful (going with home team fans).
After the game - which the Huskies won, the only game Oregon State would lose that season - I was in the long line at the bathroom. The guy next to me nudged me and, smiling, made a comment about "at least you aren't a Duck." I just smiled. I'm thinking had I been wearing green and yellow my presence wouldn't have been treated the same way. I also am pretty sure it could have been different had Oregon State won that game.
Husky Stadium, in my experience as a Oregon State fan, seems to be a decent place for the road fan.
Cheering the Portland Trail Blazers at KeyArena
I'm hardly an expert on fan rivalries - though that would be an interesting topic to research - but my unexpert opinion is that the NBA simply doesn't inspire the same degree of rivalry as football. Wifey - who is (unfortunately, was) a Seattle SuperSonics fan - and I went up to a couple games at KeyArena one year. In fact, I think we went to all four Blazers-Sonics game that season - two in Seattle and two in Portland.
At each venue she wore her Gary Payton jersey and I wore Blazers stuff. I don't think anybody at either arena said anything. This may go back to my previous point about being with a home fan, but I think it speaks more to the nature of the rivalry than anything else. The Blazers and Sonics had a history, but at that point in time neither team was overly good.
I do think the NBA just doesn't foster that kind of environment the way football does. Maybe it's because fans don't tailgate for basketball games, or maybe it's different if it was Lakers-Celtics or Bulls-Knicks, but I don't think so. No one even looked at us twice.
Sadly the Seattle SuperSonics have moved to Oklahoma City as the Thunder and KeyArena is now void of NBA hoops, but it was a decent spot to be a road fan.
Cheering the Cincinnati Bengals at Seahawk Stadium
This is what really ended it for me. The Bengals, who have been our team since Chad Johnson nee Ochocinco was drafted by them in 2001, come to Seattle roughly every 10 years (I have no idea how often it is, but it's rare), so when we were offered some tickets we snapped them up.
Neither of us had ever been to a NFL game before and because of our largely positive experiences as the road fan in KeyArena and Husky Stadium we didn't think twice about Wifey donning her Johnson jersey and me my own Bengals attire. We arrived early to check out the stadium and get the general look and feel of a NFL game.
Seahawks fans are generally considered some of the most boisterous in the NFL and they take pride in things like their team leading the league in false start penalties forced - due to noise, largely. If there is a fan base I've come across that could be described as rabid, it's them.
To say we felt out of place is an understatement. Not only did our orange and black clearly stand out from the Seahawks blue and green, making us obvious outsiders, but it seemed an inordinate amount of fans went out of their way to make comments and even to be somewhat threatening. The comments I expected; but to be a little worried for our personal safety because of the jersey we chose to wear to cheer on our favorite team? That is taking it too far.
The sad part was seeing a few other Bengal fans...like us, they had their heads on a swivel. Eye contact earned a brief head nod, but most time was spent being wary.
After our Bengals lost we had to walk back to the car through the stadiums tunnels to the parking lot on the other side of Safeco Stadium. We couldn't get out of there fast enough - in the car, on the freeway, head back towards Portland. Yikes. I can't imagine how we would have felt had the Bengals won.
Definitely not a place I would recommend wearing the road team's colors.
Cheering the Oregon Ducks at Reser Stadium
If you have read this blog for awhile you know I'm a Duck and Wifey graduated from Oregon State. We had season tickets down at Reser Stadium for nine years, meaning we got to see Civil War in person five times.
I won't lie - the first time I put on my Oregon sweatshirt for a Civil War game at Reser I didn't know what to expect. I mean, sure, I was with Wifey and a few other Beavers all wearing orange and black, so I wasn't going to be left on an island by myself, but what would I have to deal with? Comments? Threats? Civil War isn't necessarily always civil - or rarely is - so what would it be like?
Knowing my minority status I decided to take the only road I could - have fun with it. I laughed off the comments, even the ones I knew weren't made jokingly. I didn't make an ass of myself by being overly demonstrative in the Beaver season ticket holder section when something went the Ducks way. Of course I wanted Oregon to win - in 2000 a win would have put them in the Rose Bowl - but at the same time I loved that year's Beavers team and the fact Oregon State won - which would eventually send them to the Fiesta Bowl - probably made things a little easier. Both teams were ranked in the top ten before the game, so it was huge.
I took the same stance in each of the next four Civil War games I attended, choosing to simply wear my colors and take a laid back approach. In 2002, 2004, and 2006 I saw my Ducks again fail to win. Finally, in the last game I have been to at Reser - Civil War 2008 - the Ducks did win.
I will tell anyone who asks my experiences as a Duck at Reser Stadium have been generally positive. No threats of violence, very few idiots, that kind of thing, though I'm sure others haven't been as lucky. I know for a fact Autzen isn't as welcoming to Beaver fans, both having been there as a student and from Wifey's own experience there.
Would I do it again? Maybe. I think Beaver fans in general are relatively welcoming, just like the Husky fans were to us in Seattle.
But no matter how positive my experience was in each of these places, I've come to the conclusion, at least for me, that it's no longer worth it. If I see another Bengal game in person, it will be on a pilgrimage to Cincy to see it in The Jungle.
For me it's not a matter of do I think I'll have a good or bad experience, it's the fact I'm opening up to something that could be seriously (and unnecessarily) stressful when it's really just a game. Road and home fans are at a game for the same reason - cheer on their favorite team. People - and when I use that term it's for the proverbial group, not any individual or specific group of individuals - generally act with a mob mentality and can be extremely derisive to those who appear different. Sporting events, fueled by excessive alcohol use, tend to be a breeding ground for this kind of thing.
And for me, it's just enough. I'm not going to put myself in that situation. Besides, the view is just as good from couch without having a line for the bathroom.
So have you ever been the road fan? Did you have a bad experience? A good one? Would you do it again? Or was it something you found it's just better to avoid and watch the game on TV?
For me it's been a mixed bag. I've been the road fan a few places since I got out of college, and at this point in my life I think I'm just about done with it.
Think about it. When you step into a stadium 99% of the people there are rooting for the home team and wearing that team's colors. If you are wearing the colors of the other team you stick out like a sore thumb. The home fans automatically tab you as different, as an outsider, and as people are wont to do they act accordingly - and it can be very, very unpretty.
That's not an indictment of sports fans in general - most of them are very nice and understanding that the team one cheers for is a personal choice that should be properly respected, but as with all things it only takes a few jackasses to ruin the whole thing.
I remember back when I was a student at the University of Oregon I went to a game at Autzen Stadium against Washington State. As a student I was in the student section, but inexplicably a couple Washington State fans were a couple rows behind my friends and I. I personally don't think Autzen is overly hospitable to visiting fans anyway, but to come sit in the student section? Predictably they had to deal with a bunch of crap from drunken students and by halftime they had left, perhaps to find a place to sit that wasn't as unwelcoming.
That has been something that has always made an impression on me for some reason. For one, why would you put yourself in that position? Sure, you want to cheer your team, but at the same time - in my mind - you can't complain when you know what you are walking into. Again, that's not condoning the behavior - it's instead an understanding of the setting and knowing a positive outcome is less than likely.
I've put myself in that same position in four different venues in the past ten years.
Cheering Oregon State at Husky Stadium
Back in 2000 Wifey bought us season tickets for the first time to Oregon State football. For my birthday she took me up to Seattle for the weekend and we went to the Beavers-Huskies game, sitting with her uncle who is a Husky himself and a season ticket holder. She also bought me a Beaver shirt to wear for the occasion.
We got there early and walked around the stadium a bit, checking out the scene. People were nice to us, perhaps because they didn't at that point feel the Beavers were a threat, and we even got to pet the official Washington Husky (which, I should point out, is actually a Malmute). There were no catcalls or rudeness, but then again the student section was on the opposite side of the field and we were with Huskies, which I have since learned is usually helpful (going with home team fans).
After the game - which the Huskies won, the only game Oregon State would lose that season - I was in the long line at the bathroom. The guy next to me nudged me and, smiling, made a comment about "at least you aren't a Duck." I just smiled. I'm thinking had I been wearing green and yellow my presence wouldn't have been treated the same way. I also am pretty sure it could have been different had Oregon State won that game.
Husky Stadium, in my experience as a Oregon State fan, seems to be a decent place for the road fan.
Cheering the Portland Trail Blazers at KeyArena
I'm hardly an expert on fan rivalries - though that would be an interesting topic to research - but my unexpert opinion is that the NBA simply doesn't inspire the same degree of rivalry as football. Wifey - who is (unfortunately, was) a Seattle SuperSonics fan - and I went up to a couple games at KeyArena one year. In fact, I think we went to all four Blazers-Sonics game that season - two in Seattle and two in Portland.
At each venue she wore her Gary Payton jersey and I wore Blazers stuff. I don't think anybody at either arena said anything. This may go back to my previous point about being with a home fan, but I think it speaks more to the nature of the rivalry than anything else. The Blazers and Sonics had a history, but at that point in time neither team was overly good.
I do think the NBA just doesn't foster that kind of environment the way football does. Maybe it's because fans don't tailgate for basketball games, or maybe it's different if it was Lakers-Celtics or Bulls-Knicks, but I don't think so. No one even looked at us twice.
Sadly the Seattle SuperSonics have moved to Oklahoma City as the Thunder and KeyArena is now void of NBA hoops, but it was a decent spot to be a road fan.
Cheering the Cincinnati Bengals at Seahawk Stadium
This is what really ended it for me. The Bengals, who have been our team since Chad Johnson nee Ochocinco was drafted by them in 2001, come to Seattle roughly every 10 years (I have no idea how often it is, but it's rare), so when we were offered some tickets we snapped them up.
Neither of us had ever been to a NFL game before and because of our largely positive experiences as the road fan in KeyArena and Husky Stadium we didn't think twice about Wifey donning her Johnson jersey and me my own Bengals attire. We arrived early to check out the stadium and get the general look and feel of a NFL game.
Seahawks fans are generally considered some of the most boisterous in the NFL and they take pride in things like their team leading the league in false start penalties forced - due to noise, largely. If there is a fan base I've come across that could be described as rabid, it's them.
To say we felt out of place is an understatement. Not only did our orange and black clearly stand out from the Seahawks blue and green, making us obvious outsiders, but it seemed an inordinate amount of fans went out of their way to make comments and even to be somewhat threatening. The comments I expected; but to be a little worried for our personal safety because of the jersey we chose to wear to cheer on our favorite team? That is taking it too far.
The sad part was seeing a few other Bengal fans...like us, they had their heads on a swivel. Eye contact earned a brief head nod, but most time was spent being wary.
After our Bengals lost we had to walk back to the car through the stadiums tunnels to the parking lot on the other side of Safeco Stadium. We couldn't get out of there fast enough - in the car, on the freeway, head back towards Portland. Yikes. I can't imagine how we would have felt had the Bengals won.
Definitely not a place I would recommend wearing the road team's colors.
Cheering the Oregon Ducks at Reser Stadium
If you have read this blog for awhile you know I'm a Duck and Wifey graduated from Oregon State. We had season tickets down at Reser Stadium for nine years, meaning we got to see Civil War in person five times.
I won't lie - the first time I put on my Oregon sweatshirt for a Civil War game at Reser I didn't know what to expect. I mean, sure, I was with Wifey and a few other Beavers all wearing orange and black, so I wasn't going to be left on an island by myself, but what would I have to deal with? Comments? Threats? Civil War isn't necessarily always civil - or rarely is - so what would it be like?
Knowing my minority status I decided to take the only road I could - have fun with it. I laughed off the comments, even the ones I knew weren't made jokingly. I didn't make an ass of myself by being overly demonstrative in the Beaver season ticket holder section when something went the Ducks way. Of course I wanted Oregon to win - in 2000 a win would have put them in the Rose Bowl - but at the same time I loved that year's Beavers team and the fact Oregon State won - which would eventually send them to the Fiesta Bowl - probably made things a little easier. Both teams were ranked in the top ten before the game, so it was huge.
I took the same stance in each of the next four Civil War games I attended, choosing to simply wear my colors and take a laid back approach. In 2002, 2004, and 2006 I saw my Ducks again fail to win. Finally, in the last game I have been to at Reser - Civil War 2008 - the Ducks did win.
I will tell anyone who asks my experiences as a Duck at Reser Stadium have been generally positive. No threats of violence, very few idiots, that kind of thing, though I'm sure others haven't been as lucky. I know for a fact Autzen isn't as welcoming to Beaver fans, both having been there as a student and from Wifey's own experience there.
Would I do it again? Maybe. I think Beaver fans in general are relatively welcoming, just like the Husky fans were to us in Seattle.
*****
But no matter how positive my experience was in each of these places, I've come to the conclusion, at least for me, that it's no longer worth it. If I see another Bengal game in person, it will be on a pilgrimage to Cincy to see it in The Jungle.
For me it's not a matter of do I think I'll have a good or bad experience, it's the fact I'm opening up to something that could be seriously (and unnecessarily) stressful when it's really just a game. Road and home fans are at a game for the same reason - cheer on their favorite team. People - and when I use that term it's for the proverbial group, not any individual or specific group of individuals - generally act with a mob mentality and can be extremely derisive to those who appear different. Sporting events, fueled by excessive alcohol use, tend to be a breeding ground for this kind of thing.
And for me, it's just enough. I'm not going to put myself in that situation. Besides, the view is just as good from couch without having a line for the bathroom.
So have you ever been the road fan? Did you have a bad experience? A good one? Would you do it again? Or was it something you found it's just better to avoid and watch the game on TV?
10/11/2010
Shiba Intelligence, Foiled
So we had this little problem. Our three Bengals have their own room in the house where their bathroom and food is, plus a bed they can sleep on and various toys and scratching posts. This is also where the spare bed is, if anyone ever stayed the night.
Oddly, we don't seem to have overnight guests. Hmm....
Given this is where the cat litter and food is, it's pretty obvious this is a room where the dog should not be allowed. When we had Ruby, the 90-pound Akita, this was easy enough. We put a baby gate on the doorway with plenty of room underneath it, so the cats could come and go as they pleased and Ruby never had a chance of getting in.
Then we got Misaki, our perfectly cute little Shiba - all 26 pounds of her. We understood there would be changes that would need to be made, but this little conundrum - keeping the dog away from the cat box and the cat food - we thought we had under control.
We were wrong.
Sometime during the first week Misaki discovered the cats' room and that she could wiggle under the gate. Um, damn, now what?
Wifey lowered the gate, from roughly seven or more inches down to five. We hoped the cats would still fit under this and thought for sure Misaki wouldn't be able to crawl under.
We were only partially right. As you can see in this next picture, the cats could fit just fine. Well, Moochie complained and would be dramatic, inverting his back as he slunk under it and talking the entire time. Whatever, he's a known drama queen.
The cats didn't mind too much, even if it meant arching their back the wrong way as Sera demonstrates here.
What we didn't expect was that our cute and sneaky Shiba, who measures 15 inches at the shoulder (only a half inch under the max for adult females according to AKC show standards), would somehow be able to compress her body enough to also fit underneath.
We'd be downstairs and realize Misaki had disappeared. Then she'd suddenly come running down the stairs, licking her lips with a sly grin on her face. Just ignoring the fact for a minute that's plain disgusting and simply not very healthy, physically that's one of the most amazing feats I've ever seen from a dog. Unfortunately I was never able to get a picture of it, but did witness her slinking under the gate once (she didn't realize I was there - learning some ninja skills from her).
Misaki would put her nose underneath the gate and drop her front legs out to the side, completely prostrating herself, and then push forward with her back legs, wriggling the first half of her body underneath. Then she would split her hips out wide and pull herself forward with her front legs. The whole process took about three seconds.
Misaki: Silly humans, that's plenty of room.
Sometimes it sucks when your dog is smarter than you.
When we caught her in the room she would give us this look that seemed to say she didn't know how she got in there, like it just happened, or she was transported by aliens, or she was forced in. Right, like we believe that. Sorry Misaki, the innocent act just wasn't very convincing - we know better. She would also refuse to come back out if we were standing there.
She would put her nose down at the gate and act like she was trying to squeeze under, then pull back like she was trying to convince us she physically couldn't do it.
I know Shibas feel they are superior to just about everything on the planet, including their humans, but really Misaki? Did you really think that would be convincing? How dumb do you think we are?
So we had a problem: how do we keep the dog out of that room? This is the kind of problem people with small dogs have when they also have cats. We happen to have big cats - Moochie is 19 pounds - and Misaki is barely bigger, so we had to come up with a solution where the cats could have access but the dog did not, taking into account their very similar sizes.
Wifey came up with the answer. What if we just remove one of the bars in the baby gate? Then it should be wide enough for the cats to wiggle through, but there is no way the dog could make her shoulders more narrow, right?
It seemed like an economical thing to try. If intentionally damaging the gate wouldn't work, we'd have to come up with a totally different solution anyway, so destroying it wasn't much of a worry. I picked up a mini hacksaw at Home Depot - it had to be small enough to fit between the bars - and got to work hacking.
Me, hacking away.
This was pretty easy. After a couple minutes of sawing at the top and bottom of the middle bar in the gate I had it removed. To us it looked like plenty of room for the cats and too narrow for Misaki - or, at least, we hoped so. We then wrapped the cut metal areas with electrician's tape, just in case there were rough edges that could catch on a kitty.
Job well done.
Lilo and Sera figured it out pretty quick. They fit through the opening with no problems, but Moochie couldn't get it. He kept trying to go under the gate, which we had moved down to almost flush with the carpet. Then he tried to go in the side.
Moochie is the one we were most concerned about, too. Not only is he the biggest of the three, he's also the most apathetic when presented with something in his way. If anyone was going to decide getting to the normal bathroom was simply too much work it was going to be him - and there is no way in hell we want that. Yuck.
Finally, after watching Mooch struggle for 10 minutes, I picked him up and put him halfway through the hole in the gate.
Moochie after I set him halfway through the opening, looking confused.
Moochie was thoroughly confused. I had to do this three more times and then watch him for a bit before he convinced us he really had the hang of it and understood the change that had been made.
Lilo: This is pretty cool!
I'm not sure if I should be worried about him or not. I mean, we thought he was a smart kitty, but maybe he's a pretty boy who just likes to have his picture taken. Sera watched him with the disgusted look on her face she usually reserves for observing us from her perch in the Ivory Tower. She may even have said something to him, which obviously I can't understand but seemed to go along the lines of: "Are you a complete moron?"
With that little issue taken care of, the next test was Misaki.
Misaki, contemplating this new obstacle, the wheels turning on possible solutions.
Misaki refused to stand right in front of the opening so I could get a good picture, but she clearly was too wide for the hole. I think if one more was removed she would be able to fit, but as it is her shoulders are simply to wide.
She's quite annoyed about this whole thing. After she realized what we did, she laid down at the end of the hall with a thoughtful look on her face and I could literally see the gears turning in her Shiba brain as she processed this new information, starting to craft some ideas on how she could get around it. Every time she walks by she pauses, looking through the opening - then she huffs to herself and walks away.
It's been two weeks now and she hasn't come up with anything new. It's nice now, because she can go anywhere in the house now and we don't have to worry about what she's doing or what she could be getting into. We are officially Shiba-proofed. (Yes, fingers are crossed as I type that. Yes, while I'm typing.)
Well, for now. I'm sure she'll come up with something else to cause us a problem. That's part of what a Shiba does, isn't it?
Misaki recognizes we have won this round. She might even respect how we came up with a solution. However, she also has made it clear it's only a matter of time before she regains the upper hand.
Your move Red Ninja...
Oddly, we don't seem to have overnight guests. Hmm....
Given this is where the cat litter and food is, it's pretty obvious this is a room where the dog should not be allowed. When we had Ruby, the 90-pound Akita, this was easy enough. We put a baby gate on the doorway with plenty of room underneath it, so the cats could come and go as they pleased and Ruby never had a chance of getting in.
Then we got Misaki, our perfectly cute little Shiba - all 26 pounds of her. We understood there would be changes that would need to be made, but this little conundrum - keeping the dog away from the cat box and the cat food - we thought we had under control.
We were wrong.
Sometime during the first week Misaki discovered the cats' room and that she could wiggle under the gate. Um, damn, now what?
Wifey lowered the gate, from roughly seven or more inches down to five. We hoped the cats would still fit under this and thought for sure Misaki wouldn't be able to crawl under.
Measure five inches on your hand - it's not much room at all.
We were only partially right. As you can see in this next picture, the cats could fit just fine. Well, Moochie complained and would be dramatic, inverting his back as he slunk under it and talking the entire time. Whatever, he's a known drama queen.
The cats didn't mind too much, even if it meant arching their back the wrong way as Sera demonstrates here.
What we didn't expect was that our cute and sneaky Shiba, who measures 15 inches at the shoulder (only a half inch under the max for adult females according to AKC show standards), would somehow be able to compress her body enough to also fit underneath.
We'd be downstairs and realize Misaki had disappeared. Then she'd suddenly come running down the stairs, licking her lips with a sly grin on her face. Just ignoring the fact for a minute that's plain disgusting and simply not very healthy, physically that's one of the most amazing feats I've ever seen from a dog. Unfortunately I was never able to get a picture of it, but did witness her slinking under the gate once (she didn't realize I was there - learning some ninja skills from her).
Misaki would put her nose underneath the gate and drop her front legs out to the side, completely prostrating herself, and then push forward with her back legs, wriggling the first half of her body underneath. Then she would split her hips out wide and pull herself forward with her front legs. The whole process took about three seconds.
Misaki: Silly humans, that's plenty of room.
Sometimes it sucks when your dog is smarter than you.
When we caught her in the room she would give us this look that seemed to say she didn't know how she got in there, like it just happened, or she was transported by aliens, or she was forced in. Right, like we believe that. Sorry Misaki, the innocent act just wasn't very convincing - we know better. She would also refuse to come back out if we were standing there.
She would put her nose down at the gate and act like she was trying to squeeze under, then pull back like she was trying to convince us she physically couldn't do it.
I know Shibas feel they are superior to just about everything on the planet, including their humans, but really Misaki? Did you really think that would be convincing? How dumb do you think we are?
So we had a problem: how do we keep the dog out of that room? This is the kind of problem people with small dogs have when they also have cats. We happen to have big cats - Moochie is 19 pounds - and Misaki is barely bigger, so we had to come up with a solution where the cats could have access but the dog did not, taking into account their very similar sizes.
Wifey came up with the answer. What if we just remove one of the bars in the baby gate? Then it should be wide enough for the cats to wiggle through, but there is no way the dog could make her shoulders more narrow, right?
It seemed like an economical thing to try. If intentionally damaging the gate wouldn't work, we'd have to come up with a totally different solution anyway, so destroying it wasn't much of a worry. I picked up a mini hacksaw at Home Depot - it had to be small enough to fit between the bars - and got to work hacking.
Me, hacking away.
This was pretty easy. After a couple minutes of sawing at the top and bottom of the middle bar in the gate I had it removed. To us it looked like plenty of room for the cats and too narrow for Misaki - or, at least, we hoped so. We then wrapped the cut metal areas with electrician's tape, just in case there were rough edges that could catch on a kitty.
Job well done.
Lilo and Sera figured it out pretty quick. They fit through the opening with no problems, but Moochie couldn't get it. He kept trying to go under the gate, which we had moved down to almost flush with the carpet. Then he tried to go in the side.
Moochie is the one we were most concerned about, too. Not only is he the biggest of the three, he's also the most apathetic when presented with something in his way. If anyone was going to decide getting to the normal bathroom was simply too much work it was going to be him - and there is no way in hell we want that. Yuck.
Finally, after watching Mooch struggle for 10 minutes, I picked him up and put him halfway through the hole in the gate.
Moochie after I set him halfway through the opening, looking confused.
Moochie was thoroughly confused. I had to do this three more times and then watch him for a bit before he convinced us he really had the hang of it and understood the change that had been made.
Lilo: This is pretty cool!
I'm not sure if I should be worried about him or not. I mean, we thought he was a smart kitty, but maybe he's a pretty boy who just likes to have his picture taken. Sera watched him with the disgusted look on her face she usually reserves for observing us from her perch in the Ivory Tower. She may even have said something to him, which obviously I can't understand but seemed to go along the lines of: "Are you a complete moron?"
With that little issue taken care of, the next test was Misaki.
Misaki, contemplating this new obstacle, the wheels turning on possible solutions.
Misaki refused to stand right in front of the opening so I could get a good picture, but she clearly was too wide for the hole. I think if one more was removed she would be able to fit, but as it is her shoulders are simply to wide.
She's quite annoyed about this whole thing. After she realized what we did, she laid down at the end of the hall with a thoughtful look on her face and I could literally see the gears turning in her Shiba brain as she processed this new information, starting to craft some ideas on how she could get around it. Every time she walks by she pauses, looking through the opening - then she huffs to herself and walks away.
It's been two weeks now and she hasn't come up with anything new. It's nice now, because she can go anywhere in the house now and we don't have to worry about what she's doing or what she could be getting into. We are officially Shiba-proofed. (Yes, fingers are crossed as I type that. Yes, while I'm typing.)
Well, for now. I'm sure she'll come up with something else to cause us a problem. That's part of what a Shiba does, isn't it?
Misaki recognizes we have won this round. She might even respect how we came up with a solution. However, she also has made it clear it's only a matter of time before she regains the upper hand.
Your move Red Ninja...
10/08/2010
Pac-10 Week 6: Upset Special
Week Six of the Pac-10 season and we finally have a full slate of conference games. All ten teams are playing, and playing another Pac-10 team. Crazy how long it takes for that to happen with non-conference games and byes.
Last week with my picks I went 3-1 - the lone miss Washington's upset of USC - to put me at 30-8 on the season. For those curious this is straight up, not against any spread. I'm not a gambler. Though if I were this week I'd take Oregon and the points, and take the over for total points in the game - just sayin'.
Let's look at that Washington upset last week. What did we learn? Is SC really not that good? Is Washington better than they seemed, and perhaps their loss to Nebraska was the anomaly in their early season schedule? Are they actually a factor this season?
THE TIERS
Now for this week's tier breakdown.
Tier 1 - Oregon
Tier 2 - Stanford, Arizona
Tier 3 - Oregon State, USC, Washington, UCLA
Tier 4 - Arizona State, California
Tier 100 - Washington State
Stanford and USC each dropped a tier with losses, and inexplicably Cal moved up one despite not playing. Why? Just feels right - go ask the voters why Arizona is suddenly a #9 team in the nation, jumping six spots on a bye week. Who knows.
Teams seem to be shaking themselves out. I believe there is still a decent break in quality between Tiers 2 and 3 - as of now - but Tiers 3 and 4 are pretty close. I may not think ASU and Cal are as good as most of the rest of the conference, but they are still dangerous on a nightly basis.
Of the three teams in Tier 3 I think OSU is most likely to make the jump up to Tier 2, and a win this week in Tucson would do just that.
SATURDAY SCHEDULE
On to this week's schedule. As always, all game times are Pacific time, followed by the network and the pick. Also, the network and whether or not it's on TV is for Portland - some games may be televised regionally, so if you live in a home market, check your local listings. Rankings are in parentheses (AP, USA Today).
12:30pm - UCLA (33t, 36t) at California, Fox Sports Northwest - UCLA
2pm - Oregon (3, 3) at Washington State, Comcast Sports - Oregon
4pm - Oregon State (31, 35) at Arizona (9, 11), Versus - Oregon State
5pm - USC (28, *) at Stanford (16, 18), ABC - Stanford
7pm - Arizona State at Washington, Fox Sports Northwest - Washington
* USC is not eligible for the USA Today Coaches Poll because of NCAA sanctions.
(Note: ESPN has the Oregon State-Arizona game improperly listed as starting at 3pm Pacific. It is 4pm. Also, the Oregon game being live on Comcast was a decision made just Friday - it was originally going to be tape delayed on Comcast Sports. Sorry Portland State, whose game was going to be shown in its entirety starting at 12:30pm.)
Did I reach on a couple of those? Well, maybe. The UCLA pick has more to do with my opinion of California than it does of the Bruins, but UCLA has proven they have solid defense and can move the ball. Cal, on the other hand, has poor direction on offense under quarterback Kevin Riley.
The other reach is picking Oregon State. Part of that is thinking the Wildcats have not earned their ranking - they are good, but they sure aren't that good. The other part is Oregon State gets James Rodgers back on offense this week after a fantastic game by quarterback Ryan Katz and solid play by the other receivers like Markus Wheaton and Jordan Bishop. The defense is also improving very quickly. If the linebackers can continue to keep running backs in front of them and the line gets pressure on Nick Foles, the Beavers will have an excellent shot to win this game. I respect the Wildcats' defense, but if Katz is under control he has as many weapons at his disposal as any quarterback in the nation. Should be a great game.
MISAKI
Once again Misaki will pick the Beavers. I'm starting to think she's not taking this seriously. Does that look serious to you?
Game on!
Last week with my picks I went 3-1 - the lone miss Washington's upset of USC - to put me at 30-8 on the season. For those curious this is straight up, not against any spread. I'm not a gambler. Though if I were this week I'd take Oregon and the points, and take the over for total points in the game - just sayin'.
Let's look at that Washington upset last week. What did we learn? Is SC really not that good? Is Washington better than they seemed, and perhaps their loss to Nebraska was the anomaly in their early season schedule? Are they actually a factor this season?
THE TIERS
Now for this week's tier breakdown.
Tier 1 - Oregon
Tier 2 - Stanford, Arizona
Tier 3 - Oregon State, USC, Washington, UCLA
Tier 4 - Arizona State, California
Tier 100 - Washington State
Stanford and USC each dropped a tier with losses, and inexplicably Cal moved up one despite not playing. Why? Just feels right - go ask the voters why Arizona is suddenly a #9 team in the nation, jumping six spots on a bye week. Who knows.
Teams seem to be shaking themselves out. I believe there is still a decent break in quality between Tiers 2 and 3 - as of now - but Tiers 3 and 4 are pretty close. I may not think ASU and Cal are as good as most of the rest of the conference, but they are still dangerous on a nightly basis.
Of the three teams in Tier 3 I think OSU is most likely to make the jump up to Tier 2, and a win this week in Tucson would do just that.
SATURDAY SCHEDULE
On to this week's schedule. As always, all game times are Pacific time, followed by the network and the pick. Also, the network and whether or not it's on TV is for Portland - some games may be televised regionally, so if you live in a home market, check your local listings. Rankings are in parentheses (AP, USA Today).
12:30pm - UCLA (33t, 36t) at California, Fox Sports Northwest - UCLA
2pm - Oregon (3, 3) at Washington State, Comcast Sports - Oregon
4pm - Oregon State (31, 35) at Arizona (9, 11), Versus - Oregon State
5pm - USC (28, *) at Stanford (16, 18), ABC - Stanford
7pm - Arizona State at Washington, Fox Sports Northwest - Washington
* USC is not eligible for the USA Today Coaches Poll because of NCAA sanctions.
(Note: ESPN has the Oregon State-Arizona game improperly listed as starting at 3pm Pacific. It is 4pm. Also, the Oregon game being live on Comcast was a decision made just Friday - it was originally going to be tape delayed on Comcast Sports. Sorry Portland State, whose game was going to be shown in its entirety starting at 12:30pm.)
Did I reach on a couple of those? Well, maybe. The UCLA pick has more to do with my opinion of California than it does of the Bruins, but UCLA has proven they have solid defense and can move the ball. Cal, on the other hand, has poor direction on offense under quarterback Kevin Riley.
The other reach is picking Oregon State. Part of that is thinking the Wildcats have not earned their ranking - they are good, but they sure aren't that good. The other part is Oregon State gets James Rodgers back on offense this week after a fantastic game by quarterback Ryan Katz and solid play by the other receivers like Markus Wheaton and Jordan Bishop. The defense is also improving very quickly. If the linebackers can continue to keep running backs in front of them and the line gets pressure on Nick Foles, the Beavers will have an excellent shot to win this game. I respect the Wildcats' defense, but if Katz is under control he has as many weapons at his disposal as any quarterback in the nation. Should be a great game.
MISAKI
Once again Misaki will pick the Beavers. I'm starting to think she's not taking this seriously. Does that look serious to you?
Game on!
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