America's Got Delusions

Holy $#^@... Nothing is more annoying than typing up an entire blog post and then when you hit the handy publish button, getting an error. It then tells you to go back, but of course since this is a text box I'm typing in you go back to an empty box. Fun times. Why, pray tell, is there something that periodically shows under my text box that says "Saving..."? What exactly is it doing? Apparently not saving, that's for sure...

Anyway...

So I admit I watch America's Got Talent. And I like it. It makes me laugh, mostly because there are so many people in this world who think they have talent, think they can make it big, but obviously have a weak grip on a little thing called reality.

If you aren't familiar with the premise of the show, basically people of all kinds of entertainment acts try out in front of the public and three judges for a shot to win $1 million and their own show in Vegas. Just like American Idol, but not limited to singers.

As you can imagine, this attracts all sorts of people, and not necessarily in a good way. Mixed in with people who are great singers, musicians, people who play with fire, magicians, et cetera, are the simple-minded fools who think making barnyard sounds is something they can use to win this prize.

Do they really think someone would pay money in Vegas to watch that? Really?

Did your friends tell you it was a good idea? Here's a newsflash: Your friends either are playing a practical joke on you, or they hate you. Either way, you're gullible. None of those conclusions says anything good about you. And just because Mom says you are good at it doesn't mean anything - she's paid to say that.

It also completely boggles my mind how people can go on stage and perform, get booed by the crowd and told to go home by the judges, and then come off the stage and proceed to tell host Nick Cannon the judges don't know what they are talking about.

I'm not a qualified judge of talent either, but I know suck when I see it.

Last night, for example, this group called the Badd Girls came on stage. They talked a lot of game about how they had loads of talent and were going to be a worldwide phenomenon, like the Spice Girls. They weren't exactly, um, skinny, so they proceeded to waddle around like three beached whales, wailing like a cat getting it's tail pulled, until the audience booed like crazy and the judges begged them to stop. Indignantly, they walked off stage, past Nick, and proceeded to tell the camera the judges just didn't know talent.

Yeah, me neither, but my suck detector was giving me a headache it was ringing so loud.

Nick plays it off nicely, then as they walk away he looks at the camera and rolls his eyes.

He also does voiceovers when the show comes back from commercial, and last night he said something like: "This has proven to be the chance of a lifetime for some acts, but for others it's time to go back to reality."

Um, Nick? That presumes these people were coming from reality in the first place, which they assuredly were not. Anyone who proclaims on national television barnyard sounds are absolutely worth a $1 million prize is decidedly a bit detached from what I am familiar with as reality.

I guess it's fine they are doing something they truly enjoy. Props to them for that...but at the same time you have to on some level know you really shouldn't subject America to it. If you can't tell that difference on your own level, there are some issues there.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of talented people on the show - they just aren't always as entertaining as the ones that suck.

America may have plenty of Talent, but they also have an exponential number of people with Delusions. I am pretty sure it's a factor of 67.3, but I need to do some more calculations.